Reasons For Letting Your Daughter Get Married at 16
67Would I let my daughter say "I do" at 16?
When I first seen this request a couple of hours after it appeared, I thought instantly my daughter will be sixteen in one year and two months,I couldn't do it. But I am the type to let things sink in, and I try to see everyones possible point of view. The truth is, not all sixteen-year-olds are the same. To make things easier for me to sort out, I made a list of reasons I would allow this.
REASONS I WOULD LET MY 16-YEAR OLD WED
* If I knew the young man well enough to know he is going to treat my daughter well, and is a serious student with a future. If he happens to be some sort of artist, he needs to show me he is taking that seriously. I know not everyone is a scholar, but if a persons future is some kind of creative talent, they need to be making real effort to prove they are serious about their craft.
*No drinkers,smokers, or drug users. I know I sound like this old-fashioned, up tight, control freak, but I have had way too many bad experiences with all three.
*They would have to agree to stay at least an hour away from me, for the first couple of years of course. This is so I can be of immediate assistance should something go wrong. Plus, I don't care how nice someone seems, if they are trying to take you far from your family at such a young age, they are up to no good.Period.
*If my daughter is not already pregnant, I would ask that they hold off for at least 3-4 years. If my daughter was already pregnant, and this is the whole reason for the marriage, I would insist on birth control after the birth of the child. Preferably the one inserted surgically in the arm that can be removed later.
There would be no way of knowing for sure if my daughter and her fiance would agree to any of my conditions, but if they want my permission, or blessings, this is how it would have to be. I don't look forward to telling someone "I told you so", but I will do it. The truth is, if two young people are that set on doing something, they're going to do it. But as a parent, you have to do all in your powers to make your feelings clear, whatever they are. Fact is, some kids (girls and boys) are the types who have to learn things themselves. They don't want to take anyones word for it, they want to see what will happen. Who's to say this marriage can't be successful? I am not a mind reader, or therapist. I am just giving my opinion as a single mom. I really hope everything works out .
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Thanks for your comments Shannon. As I stated above not all sixteen-year olds are the same, who's to say this marriage can't be successful, and I am only giving my opinion. I speak as an overprotective mother, living in a dangerous city. My many years of working in the records department of the police department has made me wary and suspicious of... well... everyone to tell you the truth. Truth of the matter is, all parenting techniques vary, and all children are different, so there is no single right or wrong answer. I am very happy that things worked out with you, and your husband.
I was married at 16, I wasn't pregnant, that came two years later, I will be married 30 years in October to the same wonderful man. I was able to stay home while raising my 4 daughters. My parents were seperated off and on most of my life and i think they just wanted someone stable for me so they agreed to let me marry at 16. I agree not every 16 year old is the same. Two of my daughters waited until they were in their 20"s to married, i tried my best to instill moral value in them and i am very proud of all of them, but i can't see them marrying at 16.
Shannon 3 years ago
Reading your article, made me realize all the more what a fantastic mother I have. I can honestly say, if my mother would've expressed these opinions when I wed at 16 I don't think we'd have much of a relationship right now. Expressing that you want them to wait 3-4 years to have a child or pressuring them into using birth control is ludicrous. Telling them they have to live at least an hour away from you....I don't even know what to say. I honestly hope you never let your daughter know that you feel this way. For the record, my mother did none of these things, she was open, supportive and loving each step of the way. I was married at 16 and had my first child at 17. 10 years and 4 children later, we're still going strong. We live less than 10 minutes away from my mom and I'd have it no other way. I was close enough to take care of my mother after her knee surgery and to take care of my father after his hip replacement. I'm a stay at home mom and my husband and I own a small business.